Feeling like a Burden:
Sometimes we feel like a burden to everyone around us. We do EVERYTHING we can to make sure we are completely INDEPENDENT of needing help for others because we don't want them to have to do anything for us. I mean I CAN do it myself, so why not? This leads us to feeling exhausted and overwhelmed but we don't want to add to anyone else's plate. We can take care of it. If nothing else and we fail we will hire someone to help with it. We refuse to ask my friends or family to help.
We keep our kids as quiet as possible and close everywhere we go because if they are loud or make a mess then it is a burden for others we don’t want to allow as well. For some this leads to pre-planning every detail to make sure nothing is a burden in every angle we can overthink.
Heck for some even allowing a man to treat them to dinner on a date is EXTREMELY difficult and they can come across as controlling and ungrateful. This was me personally for many years! Little did those men know internally I was dealing with trauma aftereffects that led me to believe I could not allow them to treat me to dinner because I was a burden. And to this day I have met MANY women who have went through the very same experience!
Now this area of feeling like a burden, can sometimes even cross over into the sexual aspect of feeling like we owe a man sexual favors because they did something for us or bought us something. We “were a burden to them so now need to exchange a favor to not feel so much of a burden”. But I cannot say loud enough that this CANNOT BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH!
You are not now and never were a burden! God made you perfectly and wonderfully! Sometimes trauma and lies creep in to tell us otherwise and we have to heal to get back that wonderful foundation to truly KNOW and BELIEVE we are not a burden.
I am a recovering INDEPENDENT woman. Does this mean I rely on everyone for everything? Absolutely NOT! But it means I can now feel as though I can ask for help when needed or even sometimes wanted as I am not a burden and even if I CAN do something on my own, sometimes it is nice to do things together with a friend!
Unfortunately, I know that MANY women still feel this way.
But how do they stop feeling like a burden? How do they allow themselves to ask for help? I have been there and with time you can allow yourself to ask for help, know that it is OK to ask for help, and be able to discern when it the right time to have a friend help versus needing to hire an expert if it is too much. I have SO much compassion for where you are at and want to help you realize YOU are NOT a burden! In my group and 1:1 programs we address the feelings of being a burden and replace this with God's truth.
If you are feeling like you are a burden and ready to dispute this lie once and for all head on over to my services page to see if my group or 1:1 program might be a better fit for you. I can't wait to walk along side you on your healing journey!
Disclaimer: Please note, I am not a doctor and trauma recovery coaching is limited to the scope of practice not for acute or urgent care and not a substitute for medical care or evaluation.
